Why We Prefer Open Adoption

Have you ever wondered whatever happened to the best friend from first grade that moved away and you have not been able to find them through the wonders of the internet? I imagine that is a small inkling of what it would be like to not know about your first (birth) family. Shows like The Locator where the host, Troy Dunn, help people to find their past and fill in the holes that people have in their lives. Wouldn’t it be better if they did not have those holes to begin with and knew about their past throughout their lives?

Open adoption is a blessing to everyone involved. Both the first parents and the person that was placed for adoption are blessed to have that connection.

Children need so much love in their lives. They can never have too much. Placing a child in the arms of another family is an act of love that is so great it is almost indescribable. It should be celebrated and cherished.

We have an open adoption with our daughter and her first father. Micki loves her “daddy Brian” and she knows that he loves her. It’s not always perfect and sometimes mistakes are made, but we always do our best to make it right. We wish we had some kind of relationship with her first mother, but up until recently we did not know where she was or how to get in contact with her.

We would like to have an open adoption with any child that comes into our home through adoption. We welcome a continuing relationship with the child’s first parents.

We love the Lord and his gospel. We are excited at the opportunity to open our family and arms to new children and to love and cherish them as the gift from God that they are.

 

Update and How We Got Engaged

So we are plugging along on all the paperwork. We had our health inspection and are going to have our fire inspection soon. We are also working on our introduction letter. So much to do, but it will be so worth it in the end.

So in a previous post I talked about how we met and everything. Well we had been dating for a few months and really getting to know each other. I really felt that she was the one to be sealed to for eternity. (In the LDS church we believe that marriages can be for not just here on earth, but can last into eternity.) Jenn’s birthday was coming up and I thought that would be the perfect time to propose.

As the time came closer Jenn kept bugging me about what I was going to get her for her birthday. She kept asking if it was jewelry. I was guessing that she probably knew what was going on. Anyway I had gone up to her house on the Sunday before her birthday and made up my mind that I was going to surprise her early doing part of what I was planning to do on her birthday. Right after Sacrament Meeting (our main church meeting) I asked her if she wanted to go for a ride. I drove her to the San Diego temple, but took the back route so she would not know where we were until the last minute. Since it was Sunday the temple was closed, but they had missionaries there giving tours of the temple grounds. My plan was to propose to her on a bench there, but wanted it to be a little more private. So we went out on the grass and I asked her to marry me right then. I was really nervous even though I knew what she was going to say.

On her birthday I went ahead and did everything else I had planned. I picked up dinner from Olive Garden and we went and ate our dinner on a picnic table. From there we went back to the temple and I gave her the ring I had picked out.

Micki’s First School Dance

Micki attends a school for students with special needs. Every year they have an Alumni Dance where all the alumni and the high school students get together at the school for a dance. It was the first time that she went to any type of dance.

She had a lot of fun listening to music and dancing around the gym. One of the first dances was lady’s choice. Micki walked around a little and then walked up to one of the alumni and started dancing with him.

One of her classmates was there and Micki kept walking up to him. He is a little shy, but slowly warmed up to the idea. They finally shared part of a song.

We all had a lot of fun.

How We Met and Fell in Love

I will use this post to let everyone who is reading this or who will read this about how Jenn and I met.

Jenn grew up in New Hampshire. When Jenn graduated from high school (and these are her words) she wanted to move as far away from New Hampshire as possible. (No offense to those in New Hampshire) Her brother was living in San Diego at the time so that is where she ended up choosing to go to school. She was accepted to San Diego State University.

I was a Navy brat and had lived in 5 different cities before I graduated from High School. When my dad retired we were living in San Diego. That is where I graduated from High School and I went to the community college before serving a mission in Colorado. After returning home I finished up at the Grossmont Community College and transferred to San Diego State University.

Both of us attended and hung out at the LDS Institute of Religion at SDSU which is where we met. We got to be friends as we relaxed after classes at attended scripture study classes. We would also see each other at dances and other young adult activities. That is how we met.

In March 1996 LDS president and our prophet Gordon B Hickley was coming to San Diego and there was a fireside planned where he would be speaking. Some mutual friends of ours that were dating decided to plan a picnic lunch prior to the fireside. Jenn wanted to go, but did not want to go stag so she asked me if I wanted to join them. Yes, I know, she asked me on our first date. As the date of the fireside came closer everyone else except for Jenn and I flaked out on the idea. Jenn and I think that they set us up, but they never admitted to it.

I guess I was a little shy when it came to asking girls out, but this helped a little. A couple weeks later the young adult ward (congregation) that I attended was planning an activity to the San Diego Padres game. I asked Jenn (who was in a different young adult ward) if she wanted to go with me. Before I even realized it I had asked her out on a date. We had fun at the game and at other dates. We were almost inseparable from then on out and mostly still are.