We need your help covering the cost of our adoption.
Our decision on the next steps to complete our family.
It is hard to believe that it has been about a year since we started this process. It has run the gamut of emotions. As we have searched for that child (or children) that are to be a part of our family we have done things like passing out our info cards, inquiring about children and sibling groups in foster care and working with Spence-Chapin in New York with babies with special needs. Nothing has panned out with any of these.
It can be an emotional roller coaster. We see a child that we think would be a good match for our family and nothing happens with it. We continue our search and try other means.
We have a meeting with our adoption case worker this week to renew our home study. We have some things on our minds right now that we are praying about and thinking about pursuing. Once we have an answer from God we will share with our friends, family, and the world.
I have been thinking a lot about a very important phrase lately. Don’t put off til tomorrow what you can do today. Sean and I have been practicing procrastination now for going on… well, forever. Sometimes we start projects that don’t get finished. Like blogs, for instance. We would like to apologize for our lack of postings so far and we would like to move forward and each post once a week. It will most likely be about anything and everything because I, for one, am always finding something interesting bobbing around my noggin, and it isn’t always about adoption.
I would get on my knees and beg for your forgiveness over our terrible lack of entertainment and information for you, but then I would be stuck in the past. Which brings me to another idea I’ve been thinking on. Like Lot’s wife, sometimes we just shouldn’t look back.
And now, for something completely different:
Happy Halloween everyone. I sit here waiting for little kiddos all dressed up in their costumes to come and ask for some candy. We have had a few more than last year, but still our neighborhood is not that big on Trick or Treating.
Anyway as I was sitting here I pulled up my Google Reader and was browsing through some articles. I came across an article titled The Rules of Effortless Parenting by Leo Babauta. I had never been on his blog before, but I totally agree with some of his rules. They were used when I was a kid and we try and use them with Micki as much as we can.
Here are a few of them and some comments from me,
Teach Kids To Be Self-Sufficient – My mom raised four of us and she got tired of doing multiple loads of laundry per day. She taught each of us how to do our own laundry and then stopped doing it for us. If we did not have any clean clothes it was our own fault.
My mom also taught me how to cook some basic meals. Cooking is something I enjoy even today.
My father taught me some basic car mechanics. When the brake pads need changing I fix them for the cost of the parts instead of $100 an axle. I can even do it probably in the amount of time it would take me to drive to the shop and have them do it.
Teach them to solve problems – Too often today I see kids who can’t think through math (or other) problems. In school they are just taught a method of solving math problems not how to think things through. My father was the person who I went to when it came to my math homework. He taught me how to think things through.
Read with them and read in front of them – There were quite a few times growing up when I remember my mom reading. Most of the time it was for some class that she was taking to further educate herself to try and make her life (and us kids life) better.
In our house we have a bookshelf full of books that Jenn and I have either read together or separately. We also read the scriptures (Bible, Book of Mormon, etc) every night as a family. We also like to talk about what we are reading as we read it. This is probably the most important part of any scripture reading.
Anyway there are a few more tips that the author gives. I am not going to spoil the whole thing, but you can go and read it on his blog.
As a couple we believe that there is no type of discipline that works for every child. With Micki we totally believe in
bribery rewarding good behavior. Bribery Rewards for good behavior really helps her to get things back on track.
Let me give you an example. Micki has an awesome teacher at school. Mrs Baker really knows how to keep Micki on track and knows how to keep her behaviors under control. Unfortunately Mrs Baker broke her arm and has been out of work for a while because of it. Well lately Micki has had some problems at school controlling her hands. Whenever that happens the teachers aid takes her to the resource room and she has to do some learning tasks that she does not normally like to do. Then she comes back to the classroom. Well she had quite a few days in a row where she had multiple resource room trips per day. We would talk to Micki to try to see why she was hitting people.
Well last Wednesday I sat down and talked with Micki. I offered a
bribe reward if she could go a whole week without a resource room trip. The bribe reward was that she would get to go to the restaurant of her choice with daddy and would get to go to one of her favorite toy stores (5 Below). Well she came home Thursday and Friday and had good reports from school. Each day we would remind her of our deal. Monday and Tuesday came and her report was that she had a great day. When she came home today I brought her in from the bus and sat her down for her afternoon snack. I pulled her folder out and took a look. She had a great day. I made a really big deal out of it and told her what a good girl she was and how hard she had worked. (It is really hard for her to behave sometimes)
I pulled out her iPad and launched her communication software (Proloquo2Go) to ask her where she wanted to go to eat. She chose Baja Fresh.
We took off just before dinner time and went to 5 Below. Micki picked out a basketball. Then we went to dinner and had a wonderful evening.
Bribery Rewards work!
One of the things that I really love about my wife is how talented she is when it comes to things creative. It is one of the things that I am not very good at so this is one way that we complement each other as a couple.
After we got the crib and found a really cute crib bedding set it inspired my wife to want to do a mural. (Actually she has been wanting to do a mural or two in the house for a while now.)
Jenn was going to scan the drawing she did of the mural into the computer and then print it on a transparency. She has a friend that has a overhead projector we could borrow and project it on the wall. When we went to purchase some transparencies that we could run through the printer our jaws hit the floor. It was about $40 for a small box. There had to be a less expensive way to do this.
We found a computer projector we could borrow and just projected the scanned image on the wall and then trace it on the wall. Well here is how it turned out.
She did a really good job of bringing in the elements of the quilt. I love her for her creativity and desire to make things nice in our home.
I got off work a little early today so we decided to go for a hike in the state park just a few miles from our home. It was such a beautiful afternoon. It was a little on the hot side, but once we got on the trail under the trees it was wonderful.
The trail we were on went along a river.
There were a lot of interesting trees.
There was one that was eroded out at the bottom. We decided to stop and take pictures of each other there.
We saw a few small animals (a few fish, a lizzard, and a small frog) They were too small to take a picture of.
Micki did really good up until there was a stream we had to cross. She does not do real good when it is rocky so we decided it was time to turn around and head back. On our way back we saw some other trails that we want to explore next time we go out. We had a lot of fun and just after we made it back home a thunderstorm started to roll in. Fun family times.
Well we are one step closer on the path to finding the member (or members) of our family that are waiting for us. We had our home visit from our case worker yesterday. It was a good visit and we talked about the process and our plans for whatever happens with our search. She said she would be typing up our home study and looking over our profile that we have typed online and we should have our official approval sometime in the middle of this month. Then our profile will go live on the It’s About Love website. We are getting excited. Now to go over our profile and make some last minute adjustments.